Books
We life coach/therapist types are famous for seemingly willy-nilly flinging books at our clients with a "here, read this" with a hope that the book will be read, understood, and revolutionarily offer clarity, insight, and that "wow" moment. And, happily, sometimes, it really does work. Below are the books I like to wing at people. Note...I really don't get kickbacks from the authors although I'd be nice.
The Daily Stoic, by Ryan Holiday.
I like to recommend what has worked for others, but also, what has worked, and is working, for me. Daily practice in developing a more grounded thought/belief pattern helps us create a life worth living. The ideas from the ancient Stoics are worth not just considering but putting into daily practice.
This might sound odd to anyone who is attempting to make a living from coaching, by brining in a "competitor," but checking out The Daily Stoic website further reinforces, and adds another perspective, on changing our lives.
You're Never Weird on the Internet, by Felicia Day
Acceptance. Part of becoming the person you want to be, part of developing, crafting, the life you really want to live, is starting where you are.
It doesn't make a whole lot of sense in filling your eyes with the stars of dreams, or, as I call it, "blowing sunshine up your butt," because, while dreams are great as possible goals, we need to start here, now. We can call this idea "taking a daily inventory" of you, where you've been, what is behind you, that obstacle is standing in front of you, but all of this hinges on accepting who you are. All of this. Accepting the whole shooting match, the whole "cosmic enchilada," as it were. This book is Day's story. Part inspiration, part geek, part weirdness, part "I'm different and that's okay," in the journey of becoming who you want to be, you have to start with the first step.
The Artists Way, by Julia Cameron
Creativity, believe it or not, is one of those skills, one of those strengths, we need to practice.
We can muscle our way through, go all gangbusters on productivity, goal making, and be all robotic about our lives, or we can patiently build ourselves into a sustainable way of living.
Hint: slow and steady wins the race.
Cameron's book helps us build that creative, flourishing, life we've been dreaming about throught, yes, you guessed it, daily practice.
The Gift of Failure, by Jessica Lahey
Creativity, believe it or not, is one of those skills, one of those strengths, we need to practice.
We can muscle our way through, go all gangbusters on productivity, goal making, and be all robotic about our lives, or we can patiently build ourselves into a sustainable way of living.
Hint: slow and steady wins the race.
Cameron's book helps us build that creative, flourishing, life we've been dreaming about throught, yes, you guessed it, daily practice.
Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come, by Jessica Pan
It has been said that we are, far too often, our "own worst enemies." Ever wonder how?
One habit we do to ourselves is that awful thing called self-doubt. We do ourselves in. We say no to ourselves. We limit ourselves. What you are saying no to? Life itself.
What would it be if we practices flipping this habit around, started to say yes to life. Every try it? Working on breaking out of our comfort zones, figuring out what the fear of being uncomfortable, that's what growth is all about. Try this book. Good stuff.
Build Your Resilience, by Donald Robertson
Many people think that being resilient is strength to "snap back," almost as if, after experiencing some delay or setback, we can really get back to once was.
No.
If there ever was a text book on the subject of resilience, this book is it. Combining top notch therapeutic experience with Stoic philosophy, Robertson writes a highly practical, common-language how-to book on the importance of fostering, growing, the spirit of resiliency.
Motivation Manifesto, by Brendon Burchard
There is a terrible cultural myth that continues to be propagated. We see it everywhere. Stuff, money, status, fame. We're the unwitting victims of external motivation.
Money? External.
Stuff? Shiny things? New cars, big houses? All external.
And as things external, to base our motivation, much less our security, on such things is a set up for failure, anxiety, fear.
Want to be really motivated? Well, that comes from inside, within. This book talks about just that.
Slap In The Face, by William Irvine
There is a terrible cultural myth that continues to be propagated. We see it everywhere. Stuff, money, status, fame. We're the unwitting victims of external motivation.
Money? External.
Stuff? Shiny things? New cars, big houses? All external.
And as things external, to base our motivation, much less our security, on such things is a set up for failure, anxiety, fear.
Want to be really motivated? Well, that comes from inside, within. This book talks about just that.
Do Hard Things, by Steve Magness
Well here we go. Seems like this book list is the required reading for a Jocko Wilnick fanboy member, eh? All about...reframing, freedom, choices, and...stopping the nasty habit of avoiding life.
Well. Maybe it is.
Maybe it is all because, in truth, we do only have one life and that life that we want won't just land in our laps by waving a "I wish" or "I hope" magic wand.
This book offers much of the same school of thought (just a bit less fluffy although a bit redundant).
Verbal Judo, by Thompson and Jenkins
"How are you quick to ask all those damn questions that just get to the point?"
Practice.
You practice like your life depends on it.
Verbal judo, or the art of not just persuasion, or personal defense, is about internal balance, of being assertive, of giving yourself permission to speak up and to say what you really mean.
Good stuff here.
The Pivot Year, by Brianna Wiest
To "pivot," to change facings, to redirect hopefully after some reflection.
What do we do once we become "sick and tired of being sick and tired," well, one option might be to figure out what is next, how to get there, and what obstacles are in the way.
This book is one of my daily readers. Love it.
Videos
Time. That's what this video is all about.
Time management is life management.
You want a better life? Learn how to manage your time...your mental time. Your emotional time.
How much time have we wasted on the past?
How much time do we waste on convincing others?
How much time do we waste being right?
How much time do we continue to waste on resentments, anger, worry, things we can't control, things that have happened already?
Questions to ask oneself.
Not to be totally institutive, but in reality, no one can make you do anything.
They can't make you angry, sad, resentful, jealous, or react.
YOU want to.
The power of choice is something that so many don't realize they have.
The key to your future self is in the palm of your hand.
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By the way: you can't offend someone who doesn't want to be offended.
No.
The power of boundaries.
The power to see the rules that confine, define.
Do you recognize any of the rules under, within, you operate?
Do you realize how you reinforce these rules, many of which you didn't ask for yet you continue to let control you, reduce you, imprison you?
Just something to consider.